Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize