i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize