great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
