Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
