Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
