Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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