i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
