Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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