So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My vagina just recognized that song.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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