If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
