Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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