i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
