Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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