hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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