I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
