So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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