I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
