So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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