I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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