dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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