Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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