the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
