were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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