some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
