his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
