Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
