you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
