every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
