It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
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I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
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Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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