Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.