Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.