People in love make me want to vomit
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
