i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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