It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
