He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
