Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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