Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
