I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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