I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
