Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
