Having a random hookup so left but love u
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
