soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
