It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
