I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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