I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
