Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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