I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think a kid would responsible me up
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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