I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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