She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
