worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
