Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
