I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
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Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
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He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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