Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize