i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
