Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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