whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
