not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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