my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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