i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants