if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
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I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
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I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?