god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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