he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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