Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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