K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize