By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize