Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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