it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
